Numb

I was listening to the radio while driving this morning. The topic discussed was about berdamai.

Then there was one caller, told her story. Her story about how she make a decision to make peace with her husband. So I thought this is another husband-wife bergaduh thingy. But oh boy I was so wrong when I heard she said, she’s tired of arguing and want to make peace by letting her husband marry his girlfriend.

She was crying and the DJs were amazed but what caught my attention is when she said

‘when things happen once, it’s fine. Twice, I can still trust him. But if he keeps violate the trust that I gave over and over again, maybe I should just give what they want. I don’t feel sad anymore. I’ve been hurt too many times I don’t feel anything anymore. With they getting married, at least I know what they’re doing behind me.’

Yeah. If you’ve been hurt too many times your heart can become numb. Numb. You don’t feel anything anymore and you might wonder yourself, where all the love that I used to have.

But the truth is, your heart has become numb and you can’t feel anything anymore.

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I Hate This

… I hate to write it here but my old man is admitted again. It has been 4 days. He’s suppose to be discharged yesterday, like previously because the reason he was admitted initially is because the doctor wants to give him some kind of injection that need to be taken 3 days consecutively. So that’s why he need to stay at the hospital for 3 days.

And he was fine at hospital also. I mean he can still move around and happily eat all the meals provided because God knows how he love hospital meal. He even eat it when he jaga adik at hospital because adik is so mengada that she only wants my mom’s cook.

Hmmm I don’t know why but every time I visit him, I’m will find my self holding my tears even if he’s all smile and happy. I know he did that on purpose. He don’t want us to worry about him.

So yesterday I come home hoping to see him but I find out mom is going to the hospital to jaga ayah because ayah has been transferred to CCU. Whyyy he needs to be transfered to CCU when he was all fine the day before?

😦

I don’t know where else to write so I write here. I don’t even tell many of mu friends because, entah. I don’t know.. There’s a weird feeling about the whole situation but all I know now, I’m worried.

Randommm (Mushy Version)

  1. Even though I’m mileeesss away to be one, but I think being a mom is wonderful. Seeing mom’s love is awesome and wonderful also.
  2. And i think I know the feeling of missing your baby. 🙂
  3. I missed being in love, already!

Proud Aunty :)

 

Angah has safely gave birth to her son last Tuesday, 7th December 2010. Yes, new year baby he is!

 

I haven’t got the chance to meet him yet as he’s still warded and only parents are available to visit. 😦

 

Come home soon Honey!! You Mak Lang here is still high on drugs so can’t think straight to put up a nice sentence and create wonderful entry for you. Hehe.

 

Worried

I couldn’t sleep last night and this morning I woke up to a news that my dad has been hospitalized.

 

😦

 

I was too sleepy to digest the news and I was late too. So while grabbing my car keys I asked mom how ayah was doing, salam her and off I went to the office. 5 minutes later reality hits me and all of sudden tears pouring and I was so scared. My dad is in hospital and I was too scared.

 

Next thing I know, I’m texting colleague to apply and E.L and making a u-turn.

 

I know he’s going to be fine. Dad going to be fine.

 

Pray for him, ok?