He Knows

Isn’t it amazing.

When you’re overwhelmed, when you think you can’t handle it anymore, when your battle gets harder everyday, that is usually the time where you will stay on the prayer mat longer.

Isn’t it amazing.

When you can actually talk to The One who knows whats inside your heart. And you don’t even have to say it outloud. because you know He knows. You know He understand. You know He knows why it happens. You know He will help you out, in the most beautiful way. You know it happens because He care.

Isn’t it amazing?

The more we submit, the lower we put ourselve as His servant, the better, the calmer it gets.



Hurt, again?

Few months ago, I wrote this.

In all honesty, when I wrote that, I’m actually hurt by someone’s word. I think the word is too harsh. I get upset without looking what the message that a friend trying to convey. Which is actually a good one.

And today I just wish to convey the same sentence, message, again.

Whatever that I posted here, in Facebook and twitter, whatever that I said, if I ever hurt you, I’m sorry.

I really am.

But truth is, whatever that I posted here, in Facebook or twitter are solely for the sake of sharing.

Things that I find beneficial, good, I just want to share.

Still I have to admit all those medium serve different purpose. Well, at least for me. I don’t jumble up things. As much as I try not to cause brain damage to my friends on Facebook, followers on twitter and my blog readers, I’m just a girl. Girl need to rant somewhere.

So..yeah. Facebook is more general. The amount of people in my friend list made me uncomfortable to share too personal things. Twitter is..yeah. A place for me to rant basically. And this blog, serve both. But it’s a bit personal here.

Well that’s just me. I love to share and at some point I need to let it out somewhere. I try to control, really. Or else you’ll be seeing 1000 more post that I kept in private. Just for the sake of letting out and not for sharing.

But to know me….is more than just be my Facebook friends, twitter follower or even my blog reader. Much much more than that. I don’t know…..but who publish their whole life on the internet? Well at least not me.

Hmm. I don’t know if I’m making any sense here. But yeah.


I’m in the midst of learning something new. Something that I should have done what, 13 years ago? I’m on the journey of finding my life purpose. And it’s still very new….and very slow, I have to admit.

I’m taking one step at a time. Walking slowly, just to ensure I’m on the right track. I’m scared to move too fast because if I slipped, it’ll be severe.

I’m still searching ways to gain more knowledge. I’m still gaining patience every time I feel so sad, looking at what I know living 25 years as a muslim. I’m still gaining strength and motivating my self every time the thought of my past passing by my mind.

So if my effort is not right, not appropriate, tell me….guide me. Please.


Allah know how scared I am if this journey stop, and I be the old me again..

Only Allah know.




Thank You

Allah s.w.t is just the sweetest. Found this on facebook and subhanaAllah it’s so nice….and true. 🙂

Thank you Allah for everything you gave me, for everything you didn’t give me, for everything you protected me from- that which I know and that which I’m not even aware of, thank you for blessings that I didn’t even realize were blessing, thank you from guidance when I felt like I was slipping, and thank you for everything else because no matter how many things I try to list, at the end of the day, I can’t even come close to thanking you enough.
Allaahumma innaa nashkuruka walaa nakfuruka, yaa rabbee!

Oh Well



That hit me hard.

For the past few months, I received load of remarks from people who know me well, that I have changed. At some point, I’ve become more firm, cold hearted dan….entah. Macam tak berperasaan?

Initially I thought I can’t love again.

But as it goes..I realized that I’m (still) just scared. I just can’t afford to go for it, unless I know I’m doing it relying on the Almighty, and for His sake.

There, I will find my strength. And be the old me again..