Best tak?

Was hanging out with husband last night when suddenly the baby kicks so I quickly show it to husband as it’s something rare that happen when he’s around. LOL. The baby can wrestle like there’s no tomorrow when we’re (the baby and I) all alone but as soon as the husband is home, terus senyap. Hahha. The baby loves me more, I keep saying that to the husband which obviously annoy him.

So anyway! Of course husband was so excited when he got to feel the baby move and see the waves on my tummy and all of sudden he asked;

Best tak pregnant?

Which without thinking long I quickly answered;

Best!!

Oh wow masyaAllah. I am myself surprised with the answer! I mean…with the mood swings, whole-body-ache, being best friend with the loo, being fatigue like all the time….you know.. all the ‘perfectly-normal-symptom’ pregnancy woman have..

And yet I still think it’s wonderful. And forever grateful for this chance… Maybe then I shall complain less.. and just bear with the pain and all because obviously it ain’t for nothing. Allah swt will reward pregnant woman abundantly for everryything that they have to go through, insyaAllah..

Phases

Expecting this little one is truly a mixed feeling. I am still adjusting my self being a wife, next thing I know oh there’s new member coming! *smile with sweats*

Most of the time it’s scary. The thought of raising a child in this era just scare the hell out of me. ya Allah. All those instagram thingy and selfies and ootds ya Allah scary! (I’m imagining I’m having a girl here, hehe). But of course without me realizing, deep down inside I’m eager to know what’s happening inside there and part of me loving having him/her inside me and another side of me just can’t wait any longer like can you grow fasterrrr moomy can’t wait to meet you and I can see that insyaAllah daddy will love you soooooo much more than anything else looking at his smile when I broke the news! phew!

And I think pregnancy is really witnessing Allah swt greatness. I mean thinking of how complicated the baby is ‘constructed’ inside there, subhanaAllah.. It is so so amazing…

And I can still remember vividly how I told a friend early this year about my new year resolution for 2014;

I want to be a mom!!!

Even though at that time I am no where new marriage. My husband was still a stranger. LOLs. SubhanaAllah, how Allah plans…

Ahhhh it is still a looongg way to go and wallahi only Allah knows of the outcome. But like any other mom in this world, I am already praying that Allah swt will protect you and grant you true success, that is, His Jannah, my baby.

I already love you so much..and also your dad. Oh don’t start with him. I think he wish he’s the one who’s pregnant and have milk so he can have you all by himself lol!

While you are in there, may Allah protect us from any kind of harm and well, I guess, see you in a few months insyaAllah hu taala!

😀

Die

Mungkin setiap kali syaitan memujuk nafsu supaya bermaksiat pada Allah, akal perlu kembali berfikir,

Do I want to die in that condition?

Heh.

Syaitan memujuk nafsu. Senang menyalahkan.

Atau nafsu memang sudah di pupuk?

Hina sungguh kau.

Memelihara malu pada mahkluk tapi tidak pada Penciptanya.

 

 

Yesterday

There are moments where you just wish you had done things the other way round. Or how you should trust your instinct and stand firm,instead of taking the risk.

All smiles

Moga istiqamah buat usaha agama.

It’s so deep I am over the moon.

MasyaAllah, Alhamdulillah. Moga Allah makbulkan, moga malaikat mengaminkan….

 

 

Indah

Antara yang terindah. Semuanya.

Run? Nope!

At this point of time the only thing I want to do is just to be alone. With Him. And cry.

Soooo many things rumbling inside my mind. Ya Allah..

Wallahi there are so many things that I want to ponder but my fingers just stop the moment it reach the keyboard.

Overwhelmed, maybe. I am not complaining tho. In fact I am very grateful to be chosen to walk on this path. 1000 things may run concurrently  all at 1 time and it could gets reaaally tiring but well, that’s all life is all about, kan? It’s a place for test. 

Mungkin Allah tarik rasa utk meluahkan semuanya pada makhluk supaya mengadunya aku, hanya pada Dia. Hanya pada Allah.

Because it is only Allah that will open up the road, when it seems like a dead end. 

 

Only Him. 

 

Only Allah.

Mencari

Teringat dulu masa mencari-cari di mana nak belajar agama, google sana, cari sini. Clueless sebenarnya, tapi keep looking.

Tak lama lepas tu, Allah hantar kan Maulana, kitab2 dan rakan2 baru. MasyaAllah.. Malu pun ada rasanya sebab carinya sikit aja, tapi bantuan Allah masyaAllah. Kemudian lepas satu, satu Allah buka jalan.

Sekarang pun mencari juga. Sesuatu yang lain. Masih clueless. InsyaAllah dah tahu tujuan tapi masih tak nampak jalan.

Tapi aku yakin, insyaAllah, bantuan Allah akan tiba. Dengan cara yg paling tak disangka..

Changes

Tersentap dengan beberapa perkara lately ni. 

Alhamdulillah. Kerana yang tunjuk pun, Allah. Yang haq akan tetap kekal sebagai haq. Kalau ada yg perlu berubah, diri sendiri yg hina ni.

Allah. Moga Allah beri kekuatan.

Means

Ustaz selalu pesan. Semua amal ibadah yg kita buat, semua ilmu yg kita belajar, semua tu hanyalah wasilah, means, untuk kita sampai kepada Allah. Semua tu untuk mendidik diri kita sendiri, supaya rasa kasih dan takut kita pada Allah semakin hari semakin meningkat. And all those feeling, should be translated into our amal ibadah. Dan hubungan kita dengan Allah.

Kalau selepas kita dengar 100 ceramah, attend 100 kelas cari ilmu, tp hubungan kita dengan Allah tak meningkat, maybe we should pause and re-check the intention. Apa niat sebenar buat semua ni?

Scary but that’s life. Its a constant battle in strengthening our iman, supaya kita dapat kembali kepada Allah dlm keadaan yg baik..

And this, is nothing more than a reminder for my own self, yang selalu lupa….