Phases

Expecting this little one is truly a mixed feeling. I am still adjusting my self being a wife, next thing I know oh there’s new member coming! *smile with sweats*

Most of the time it’s scary. The thought of raising a child in this era just scare the hell out of me. ya Allah. All those instagram thingy and selfies and ootds ya Allah scary! (I’m imagining I’m having a girl here, hehe). But of course without me realizing, deep down inside I’m eager to know what’s happening inside there and part of me loving having him/her inside me and another side of me just can’t wait any longer like can you grow fasterrrr moomy can’t wait to meet you and I can see that insyaAllah daddy will love you soooooo much more than anything else looking at his smile when I broke the news! phew!

And I think pregnancy is really witnessing Allah swt greatness. I mean thinking of how complicated the baby is ‘constructed’ inside there, subhanaAllah.. It is so so amazing…

And I can still remember vividly how I told a friend early this year about my new year resolution for 2014;

I want to be a mom!!!

Even though at that time I am no where new marriage. My husband was still a stranger. LOLs. SubhanaAllah, how Allah plans…

Ahhhh it is still a looongg way to go and wallahi only Allah knows of the outcome. But like any other mom in this world, I am already praying that Allah swt will protect you and grant you true success, that is, His Jannah, my baby.

I already love you so much..and also your dad. Oh don’t start with him. I think he wish he’s the one who’s pregnant and have milk so he can have you all by himself lol!

While you are in there, may Allah protect us from any kind of harm and well, I guess, see you in a few months insyaAllah hu taala!

:D

Die

Mungkin setiap kali syaitan memujuk nafsu supaya bermaksiat pada Allah, akal perlu kembali berfikir,

Do I want to die in that condition?

Heh.

Syaitan memujuk nafsu. Senang menyalahkan.

Atau nafsu memang sudah di pupuk?

Hina sungguh kau.

Memelihara malu pada mahkluk tapi tidak pada Penciptanya.

 

 

Yesterday

There are moments where you just wish you had done things the other way round. Or how you should trust your instinct and stand firm,instead of taking the risk.

All smiles

Moga istiqamah buat usaha agama.

It’s so deep I am over the moon.

MasyaAllah, Alhamdulillah. Moga Allah makbulkan, moga malaikat mengaminkan….

 

 

Run? Nope!

At this point of time the only thing I want to do is just to be alone. With Him. And cry.

Soooo many things rumbling inside my mind. Ya Allah..

Wallahi there are so many things that I want to ponder but my fingers just stop the moment it reach the keyboard.

Overwhelmed, maybe. I am not complaining tho. In fact I am very grateful to be chosen to walk on this path. 1000 things may run concurrently  all at 1 time and it could gets reaaally tiring but well, that’s all life is all about, kan? It’s a place for test. 

Mungkin Allah tarik rasa utk meluahkan semuanya pada makhluk supaya mengadunya aku, hanya pada Dia. Hanya pada Allah.

Because it is only Allah that will open up the road, when it seems like a dead end. 

 

Only Him. 

 

Only Allah.

Mencari

Teringat dulu masa mencari-cari di mana nak belajar agama, google sana, cari sini. Clueless sebenarnya, tapi keep looking.

Tak lama lepas tu, Allah hantar kan Maulana, kitab2 dan rakan2 baru. MasyaAllah.. Malu pun ada rasanya sebab carinya sikit aja, tapi bantuan Allah masyaAllah. Kemudian lepas satu, satu Allah buka jalan.

Sekarang pun mencari juga. Sesuatu yang lain. Masih clueless. InsyaAllah dah tahu tujuan tapi masih tak nampak jalan.

Tapi aku yakin, insyaAllah, bantuan Allah akan tiba. Dengan cara yg paling tak disangka..

Changes

Tersentap dengan beberapa perkara lately ni. 

Alhamdulillah. Kerana yang tunjuk pun, Allah. Yang haq akan tetap kekal sebagai haq. Kalau ada yg perlu berubah, diri sendiri yg hina ni.

Allah. Moga Allah beri kekuatan.

Means

Ustaz selalu pesan. Semua amal ibadah yg kita buat, semua ilmu yg kita belajar, semua tu hanyalah wasilah, means, untuk kita sampai kepada Allah. Semua tu untuk mendidik diri kita sendiri, supaya rasa kasih dan takut kita pada Allah semakin hari semakin meningkat. And all those feeling, should be translated into our amal ibadah. Dan hubungan kita dengan Allah.

Kalau selepas kita dengar 100 ceramah, attend 100 kelas cari ilmu, tp hubungan kita dengan Allah tak meningkat, maybe we should pause and re-check the intention. Apa niat sebenar buat semua ni?

Scary but that’s life. Its a constant battle in strengthening our iman, supaya kita dapat kembali kepada Allah dlm keadaan yg baik..

And this, is nothing more than a reminder for my own self, yang selalu lupa….

The 3 Keys

Ustaz pesan, 3 amalan yang boleh menjauhkan kita dari azab ialah;

Syukur, doa & istighfar

Ustaz kata dalam apa pun yang kita buat, kita mesti ingat 3 perkara tu dan sentiasa amalkan. Kerana terdapat kebaikan padanya.

Hidup kena selalu dalam keadaan yakin pada rahmat Allah dan juga sentiasa mengharap akan keampunan nya. Because we never know. Everything that we worked for now, will only be reaveal later, on the day of judgement. And we definitely don’t want things to be too late, by that time. Nauzubillah. :(

You see, life is like a puzzle. We see it piece by piece. But Allah sees it as a whole picture. He knows. He’s the one who arranging it. He created us as His slave, send us to this world and show allllllll of His signs to let us know that He is our God. He is Allah our God. Because soon, we’ll come back to him. To where we come from. And answerable to each and everything that we have done in this world. 

There are moments where we just don’t get it, why this have to happen. But don’t lose hope, don’t be afraid, just keep walking and have faith and trust in Allah. As long as we are on His path, insyaAllah we are safe. Although we may not understand why its happening. Whole world may ditch is but Allah will never do that. Rahmat Allah sangat, sangat lah luas. He is the most powerful. Kalau Allah nak beri, sekelip mata aja. 

All we have to do is ask. Ask and ask. Because Allah is our master. He guide us, He feed us, He helped us every single time, He comfort us no matter where and when, He listen… He knows us best.

So no matter how hard it is, keep walking, keep struggling, keep forcing our self to please Allah and Allah alone.

May He guide us all…… amin, insyaAllah…